Wait for the Refrain
by Glowbug9379
Summary: Twelve different stories. Twelve different endings. The same angst-induced crap.
1. harder to breathe

**_A/N: I love Maroon 5. I do. More than I can properly articulate. And I've loved them for a long, long time, way before those fuckers were famous. And I still do. So I decided to try something (the operative word here being try) with their songs. Songfics, even. I've never written one. I'm attempting it now. We'll see how it goes. These will all be drabbles, they'll all be off "Songs About Jane" and in order, to boot. Each drabble will be a different pairing (with some recurrences). As always, I own nothing but my fantasies about Edward Norton. And damnit, those are mine for keeps._**

**_I am a feedback whore, so feel free to leave some (subtle, aren't I?) _**

__  
**Title: **Harder to Breathe  
**Pairing: **Brooke/Lucas  
**Rating: **PG-13 for some language and sexual references

* * *

_So condescending, unnecessarily critical_  
  
So he thinks you're cheap. So fucking what?  
  
But, you think, it does matter. In ways it shouldn't, it hurts. Because he's the last person you expected to hurt you.  
  
And there he is, standing in front of you with maliciousness in his gaze you haven't witnessed before. "Screw you, Lucas."  
  
He sneers, and you decide it doesn't suit him. "We've done that dance, Brooke. Well, you'd know it better than anybody else."  
  
But you're not as stupid as you look.  
  
You know how to play this game, and you'll be damned if you don't beat him at it.  
  
_Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat  
Hoping someday someone will do you like I did_  
  
"And wouldn't you love to try again? Unfortunately, I don't fuck guys as pathetic as you. I'm cheap? You don't deserve me."  
  
And he should know. Because if you can't convince yourself, you need to make sure that someone believes it.  
  
So you smile, and you think it's so contrived you want to choke on it.  
  
You don't.  
  
_Does it kill  
__Does it burn  
__Is it painful to learn   
__That it's me that has all the control _

You pull him closer and breathe a kiss against his lips.  
  
And as soon as he feels it, you push him away.  
  
_Does it thrill  
Does it sting  
When you feel what I bring  
And you wish that you had me to hold  
_  
It is the last kiss you will share, and the taste is bitter.  
  
Fittingly so.  
  
"Miss me, boy wonder?"  
  
_You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone  
not fit to fucking tread the ground that I am walking on_  
  
He is quiet.  
  
"Of course you do. But know this, Luke. I am better than you. I'm not the one who fucked this up."  
  
What's left of his determination has slipped away, his anger all but dissipated. Luckily for you, he doesn't know how to be cruel. Not for long, anyway.  
  
You do. You're an expert.  
  
"_You're_ cheap," you finish.  
  
And just like that, you walk away.  
  
Everything you've said, it's the truth. If only you believed it.  
  
But for that one instant, when you look back and see that he's broken...  
  
...you're okay.  
  
That's the thing with moments like these.  
  
They're always fleeting.


	2. this love

**_A/N: Peyton is not the bad guy, and I'm not trying to portray her as such. I happen to like her, but when it comes to Lucas, she can never make up her mind. I don't think any less of her. Just hope that's clear._**

**Title: **This Love  
**Pairing: **Lucas/Peyton  
**Rating: **PG

* * *

He's tired of this.  
  
_This love has taken its toll on me  
She said goodbye too many times before  
_  
The back and forth is becoming too much to bear. This is a dance he doesn't know how to execute properly, and one he's not sure he wants to learn.  
  
Her indecisiveness is her own burden.  
  
Or so it should be. It's not his responsibility.  
  
Somehow he makes it his.  
  
She smiles, and it's rare. He holds onto it, because it's all he can do to keep himself sane.  
  
And while he's trying not to, he is exhausting himself. Part of him wonders how she has the energy to do it.  
  
Runarounds are her specialty.  
  
She wants him.  
  
She doesn't.  
  
She loves him.  
  
And suddenly, she's not so sure anymore.  
  
What she's giving him isn't enough. He needs a little more certainty than this.  
  
But he does try. Above all else, she has to know he tries. Her happiness is his first priority.  
  
_I tried my best to feed her appetite  
So hard to keep her satisfied_  
  
For as long as they've done this tango, he always looks out for her first.  
  
Peyton doesn't know what she wants. She needs options, more than what he's offering.  
  
It's all or nothing with Lucas.  
  
_Kept playing love like it was just a game  
Pretending to feel the same Then turn around and leave again_  
  
It's always something with Peyton. One logical excuse after another. They keep piling up and she finds that she can't see underneath the dust anymore.  
  
She forgets why she's running away from him, and then she runs faster.  
  
While it may not hold much worth, she does love him.  
  
Maybe.  
  
She thinks.  
  
Sometimes.  
  
And he loves her. He really does.  
  
What he's learning is that it's not enough. The way this works, it's never enough.  
  
His heart is hers for the taking. It's the thing he offers the most.  
  
She shies away from it again. It's the thing she does best.  
  
With a sigh, he relents.  
  
Lucas isn't one to give up, but he's too tired to keep going.  
  
This is how Peyton is given up.  
  
She finds herself breaking more than she expects.  
  
Suddenly, she realizes what she should have known. There are times when she undermines herself, and it isn't until afterwards that she sees it.  
  
_And her heart is breaking in front of me  
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore_  
  
Lucas is what she wants. She loves him.  
  
She thinks.  
  
Possibly.  
  
On occasion.  
  
Maybe it's the runaround she misses.  
  
Either way, Peyton breaks a little bit more. 


	3. shiver

**Title: **Shiver  
**Pairing: **Peyton/Jake  
**Rating: **PG

* * *

Jake doesn't understand her. He would like to, absolutely.  
  
But the truth is, he doesn't have a fucking clue. She's an enigma in her own right.  
  
That's okay, because Jake is subtle. He has learned how to get under her skin without her realizing it till it's done.  
  
_There may not  
Be another way to your heart  
So I guess I'd better find a new way in_  
  
And after that, she hates him for it. For a while, but really, Peyton can't be angry with him for long. What she _can_ do is shut him out.  
  
Or try. Unfortunately for her, he keeps pushing.  
  
What she sees is that his pushing is never intrusive. If it is, he's smart enough to cover his tracks.  
  
"I don't get you, Peyton," he says to her one day.  
  
She smiles a little. "Don't stress over it, nobody does."  
  
"You like being a martyr, huh?" he jokes.  
  
She doesn't think it's funny.  
  
"It's not about that."  
  
"Then what is it about?"  
  
"Forget it."  
  
The conversation ends there. He watches her close up, and smirks because she's practically shrinking into her shell.  
  
Avoidance is her favorite game to play.  
  
He plays along because he's determined to crack her.  
  
_You look at me  
I look at you  
Neither of us know what to do_  
  
Jake notices something in her eyes, and that gives him incentive to keep pushing. Something about the way she looks at him tells him that she wants to be figured out.  
  
"You want to get some pizza?" he suggests one night after he returns home. She is babysitting Jenny again.  
  
_You build me up  
You knock me down  
Provoke a smile  
And make me frown_  
  
"Don't you have better things to do than try for a conversation I can't give you? What is this, a game for you Jake?" She shakes her head.  
  
"I don't know about you, but I just asked for pizza. I'm starving," he grins.  
  
Her laughter is gorgeous, if not forced. He is content with this, because it's something.  
  
Eventually, they get around to the things she hates talking about.  
  
Her mother.  
  
Herself.  
  
Her loneliness, above all else.  
  
When she bares herself, makes herself vulnerable, she is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.  
  
These are the times he has to remind himself to breathe.  
  
But soon enough, she closes up.  
  
Peyton always does.  
  
What she won't admit to herself, though inherently she knows it's true, is that Jake has figured it out.  
  
He's not going anywhere, despite her valiant efforts to push him out.  
  
It doesn't bother him. He'll keep trying.  
  
_I shiver when I hear your name  
Think about you but it's not the same  
I won't be satisfied 'till I'm under your skin_  
  
At the end of the day, he's too determined to reach her. To get under her skin.  
  
Because she's already under his. 


	4. she will be loved

Title: She Will Be Loved  
Pairing: Brooke/Lucas  
Rating: PG

* * *

She's scared of the dark. Of course she'll never admit it; it isn't in her nature to do so.

And when she thinks about it, it's not so much the dark as it is the realization that she's alone.

Alone is the part that gets her.

In the quiet black of the night...

In a bed too oversized that she knew she had to have...

Brook is still alone.

But tonight, somehow it feels different.

She sits up in bed and glances around, doe eyed and fearful in a way nobody sees her.

There is a tap against her window; she frowns delicately.

_Tap on my window, knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful__  
I know I tend to get so insecure__  
It doesn't matter anymore_

Her feet land against the floor, and with a silent gracefulness she heads towards the noise.

He crouches outside beside a tree, a familiar desperation in his eyes.

She pushes up the pane and glares. "What?"

"Did I wake you up?"

"What do you think, jerkoff? It's three o'clock in the morning."

He rakes a hand through his hair, through what's left of it, and sighs. "Sorry. I dunno, I just thought..."

"Thought what?"

"I had a feeling you were awake."

Her face softens, and she learns there is something she's more afraid of than the dark. It's Lucas.

"What do you want? It's raining, you're gonna freeze."

"It's okay."

"Don't be stupid," she warns uncertainly. "So what is it?"

"You."

"Me. Me what?"

"You're beautiful when you smile, you know that? Even when you don't."

"Are you kidding me, Lucas?"

"Not even a little."

She searches for the lie he's telling, but she can't pinpoint it. This isn't an admission of guilt, or regret, or the cohesive thought process he usually goes through before saying anything like this.

_I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain__  
Look for the girl with the broken smile__  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_

This is raw.

It's pure impulse, and she doesn't expect it from him.

He leans up and brushes a kiss against her forehead. She can still feel the intermingling of his lips against the water that bears down outside.

"I just thought you should know," he whispers, an uneasiness in his tone filling the void of the silence.

She nods and stares at him because she cannot formulate a response that is anywhere close to articulate.

"Okay," she breathes. "Goodnight."

"I'll see you tomorrow." And just like that, a pattern is established. He smiles, and it's real.

And only for her.

She pulls the window shut and climbs into bed. Darkness envelops the room as her bedside lamp is turned off.

But Brooke isn't scared.


End file.
